Dave Isaac's Blog

3 STEPS TO ELIMINATE FRUSTRATION

In today's fast pace world, most people are either racing towards their dreams or running from their nightmares.  Sadly, if you are like most people, you are probably trying to outrace your nightmares to the finish line. For most people, the finish line is just out of reach and almost seems like one is moving backwards while trying to move forwards.  For others, crossing the finish line wasn't the "happily ever after" they thought it would be and for still others, the finish line is no more than a moment in time to measure your progress on your journey to reach your full potential.    One of the first things to ask yourself is "Do you focus on the finish line or do you pay attention to how you run the race?  How you run the race is everything.  You run with passion or you run with desperation.  You run with a purpose or you run aimlessly.  You run without distractions or you run with baggage.  You run with expectation of excellence or you run with frustration.

There are three steps to eliminating frustration while "running" your race in life, sports or business.

1.  Where do you place your focus?  Do you focus on what you can't control or what you can control? 

     Step one:  Change your focus on only the things you can control about the situation.  For example:  If you want to obtain more sales in your business, rather than focus just on more sales, focus on what are the steps, behaviors or actions that lead to obtaining more sales.  Like, setting up appointments, meeting more people, making a set number of proposals each week to potential clients.  These are the things that are under your direct control and these are some of the things when done well can lead to success.

2.  Examine how you are thinking:   If your head has to many thoughts running around this might cause an overwhelmed feeling.

    Step two:  Change your focus from the larger overwhelmed thoughts to the smallest component of your thoughts.  For example, if you are thinking about wanting to contact 20 people, just think of the first person you need to contact and only focus on that person.  If you have a a big project to complete, focus on only one aspect of that project and complete each step one aspect at a time.  If you want to clean the kitchen, then focus on cleaning only one dish at at time.  This is called chunking down in NLP.  You can chunk down tasks into smaller components, time into more manageable time units and space into smaller areas.

3.  Examine the type of goals you are setting.  Do you just set "having goals" such as "I want more money", I want to win the championship this year" or I want a loving, kind and deep relationship with someone"?  Do you set doing goals that reflect the types of behaviors, actions and tasks that are necessary to lead to accomplishing your goals?  And perhaps most importantly, do you set "States of Being" goals such as being in a state of  passion, enthusiasm, excitement, focus, calmness, etc..   

     Step three:  It is OK to know what you want (i.e. having goals) however these goals are not under your control directly and thus can lead to frustration or even worse lowering your goals to match your current skills, beliefs and values.  Thus, the order of setting goals would be to start with "State of being" goals so that you bring in the types of States that ignite your passion and energy as your bring these states into the "doing" goals.  Behaviors, actions and tasks without having a supportive state of mind is just a robotic type of motion without emotion or even worse, not doing anything and becoming immobilized.  Thus, start with "State of being" goals, then list doing goals (behaviors, actions and tasks) that support your "having" goals.  And remember, to enjoy the journey!

Dave Isaac is a Certified Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP).  NLP is the study of human excellence.   See www.acceleratedmastery.com for more information.

Word, phrases and thoughts that influence the level and quality of our success!

What we say to ourselves has a huge influence on our success.  Just like when you type commands into your computer to bring up a program, print something, create a word document or send an email to someone, the  words you say to yourself are commands that you "type" into your brain that will ultimately direct your behaviors.  If the commands you type to give instructions to your computer are not the commands your computer recognizes,  then you end up with a non response or even worse, maybe a "computer crash", or something that is not very useful.  Just like a computer, if you give commands to your brain through the use of negative phrases, dis-empowering words, ineffective thoughts, or to fulfill a negative self fulfilling prophecy you will also end up with either something you do not want or ever worse, something that matches your dis-empowering beliefs, self sabotage, or sub par performance.   Since the accomplishment of your goals are a direct result of the type and quality of your behaviors, words become extremely important.   And not only do the words you use impact your behaviors, they also have a direct impact on the level and quality of the goals that you set.  These words sometimes are consciously heard however you may have to really pay attention to the words (thoughts) that run around your unconscious mind and that have a huge influence on your performance in life, business and / or sports.

The Two Big Excuses in peoples lives!

TIME AND MONEY

Stop wishing things would get better and change what you say to youreslf.  You will be amazed at the results.  

Here are some examples of phases people often use in context to life, business and sports situations.  You fill in the  blanks.

Example #1:  "I don't have time" _______________________. 

What don't you have time for? i.e exercise, marketing, practicing a sport, family, strategic planning, upgrade my skills, etc?

Try replacing this phrase with the following:

1.   " If I did have time for ____________, what would be the first thing I would notice that changed in my life"?  (Look for a positive change)

2.      What would be the second thing I would notice that changed in my life?

3.      What would be the third thing I would notice that changed in my life?

4.      What would my family and / or friends (Or business associates, clients, team mates, etc.) notice that is different about my life?

When you start directing your attention to what you want vs what you don't want, you will begin to notice how your life starts changing to match what you expect to happen.

Example #2:   "I can't afford to" ________________________.

What can't you afford? (A business / life / sports coach, new car, advertising, new computers, educational classes, etc.)

When this question comes up, there are two ways people process this question.  Cost or Value.

1.  The majority of people first think of cost.  Then they compare the cost of this particular item with their current comfort zone or circumstances.  Most of the time, this comparison is to something in their current comfort zone such as current level of income, current cost structure, priorities based on short survival patterns, fear based thoughts and / or low self esteem, leads to an immediate "I Can't response".  Sadly, this keeps people deep within their comfort zone which leads to stagnation or more often than not, moves people backwards and erodes the quality of their life.

2.  The most successful people in business and sports, train their mind to think first of Value.  This leads to thinking above ones comfort zone into the area of possibilities and opportunities.  By thinking above your comfort zone, you will then examine the value of the particular item that was either presented to you or you initiated and if you determine it has value, you would  then ask the question, "How can I afford this"  (as opposed to "I can't afford this).  This two simple ways of approaching life, business and / or sports makes all the difference in the world in terms of performance.   One opens up possibilities to achieve your full potential and the other shuts the door on success.    

As a Business Consultant, CPA and NLP Master Practitioner (Coach), I see this all the time.  About 90% of the people I run across, first think of cost first when evaluating an opportunity.  The evaluation doesn't go very far, since their next line of thinking is "I can't" which cuts off any possibility for change.

 The other 10% think of value first and begin to explore above their comfort zone as they begin to see incredible opportunities that await them.  These opportunities may not have been noticed if they first were influenced by the phrase "I can't". 

You either are excited to open doors of opportunities and explore what is behind these doors or you allow your preconceived ideas based on fears and or dis-empowered beliefs to stop you in your tracks from even reaching out to grab hold of the door knobs and turn to open or even worse not even recognize their are doors right in front of you.

Dave Isaac is an NLP practitioner helping individuals, companies and athletes work above their self imposed limitations and achieve peak performance.  (For more information on NLP, please visit www.acceleratedmastery.com)

Email:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

NOTE:  Please send me an email if you are interested in an upcoming NLP course entitled "Sales Mastery and Advanced Negotiation Certification".  This course will start in April 2011.

As an NLP Practitioner (Study of Human Excellence), I am always seeking ways to help people "perform above their self imposed limitations".  Whether it is sports, business or personal, the key to success is learning how to perform above your self imposed limitations.  We have all seen what happens when people continue their same old behavior patterns and expect different results.  You get the same old results.  Yet why do people in all areas of life still operate from this very old, outdated and ineffective model of performance?

The answer is simple:  People perform within their comfort zone.  The comfort zone is defined as the place in people's mind where fear, resistance, and obstacles create a false sense of security.  A place where people rely and wait on outside influences to impact their life vs relying on inner strengths, improved skill sets and higher level qualities to influence outside circumstance.  It is a place where growth, transformation, and skill upgrades don't exist.  It is accepting that nothing can be done and one is the victim of their circumstances.   And finally, it is a limited set of behaviors attempting to accomplish goals.

The solution: Fixed goals and variable means.

Explanation:  Most people will do the opposite of the solution.  They will set variable goals with fixed means rather than fixed goals with variable means.  When you set variable goals with fixed means, you will either set goals at a low level or once the goals are set, lower your goals to match your internal and unconsious perception of yourself based on the following factors

1.  Limited beliefs.  (What you think you are capable of;  What you think is possible in the world;  What you believe you deserve;, etc.

2.  State of mind.  (Are you performing in a depressed, anxious, or frustrated state of mind or are you performing with passion, excitement and enthusiasm.)

3.  Skill sets.  (Are you attempting to accomplish your goals based on the same skill sets you learned years ago, or are you constantly and continuously seeking, learning and applying higher and higher level skill sets.

4.  Identity:  Do you think of yourself in only one way or do you have many ways to think of your role that can expand your performance.  A simple example would be a restaurant server.  If you thought of yourself as someone who just served a meal to the customers, then your behavior would reflect your identity.  Mechanically, delivering the food,  cleaning the table and asking for payment.  However, if you expanded your identity to not just a server but also a person who wants to inspire, motivate and deliver happiness to all your customers, in other words a "STATE CHANGER", then you might develop a whole new set of skills, behaviors and qualities that would create a much different experience for your customers.

5.  Environment:  Do you work in an environment that keeps you in your current level of thinking, performing and circumstances.  Or do you seek new environments (new friends, groups, circumstances) that can assist you to new levels of awareness and performance?

Fixed goals with variable means concept is where you keep your goals and time frames fixed and rather than change your goals to match your perceived capabilities and / or resources, you change your behaviors, mindset and capabilites to meet your goals.  You move "yourself" up to meet the higher level goals rather than moving your goals down to meet your current self.

Steps to fixed goals with variable means:

1.  Realize you have set your goals within your comfort zone.

2.  Revisit your goals by asking how your goals would change if you set them above your self imposed limitations.  And then ask yourself:  What is the first thing you would notice about your life that would change as a result of these new and revised goals?

3.  Set new goals based on #2 and set these goals as fixed goals with fixed time frames.

4.  Imagine performing above your self imposed limitations and ask yourself what beliefs, states of mind, skill sets, identity, and environment would be needed to support these higher level goals.

5.  Create a self improvement program and create more variable means (i.e. changing mindset - see 1 through 5 above). (Variable means is another word for behavioral flexibility and behavioral flexibility is when one has many options through different behaviors, empowering mindsets and expanded awareness to accomplish one's fixed goals.

Note: All great athletes have coaches.  Individuals and businesses would be served well to have a coach to teach, monitor, evaluate and help adjust ones variable means as well as assisting in setting high level goals.

Dave Isaac is a Certified NLP master practitioner and helps individuals, businesses and athletes perform above their self imposed limitations and achieve peak performance.  For more information on NLP, please visit  www.acceleratedmastery.com

Dave's emails is: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it