Tales from the Critic: A Squeaky Wheel and a Green Moon

I stayed up late last night, making sure I was available for a friend of mine who needed someone to talk to. Sacrificing sleep is a small price to pay to ensure the people we love can receive comfort during troubling times. No one should ever feel alone – especially in life’s lowest moments – and I hope that my friends know that they can always count of me to lend an ear and offer a few consoling words. After all, when someone’s entire world is turned upside-down, they need to know that there is at least one constant in their galaxy. And I promise to always be that constant because my sun, my moon, every star in my sky and every planet in my solar system means more to me than anyone will ever truly be able to comprehend.

Even after that friend of mine drifted off to sleep, I continued to toss and turn, perhaps because my heart told my mind to remain on alert in case they suddenly needed me again. Once morning arrived, I worked out while watching “The Amazing Race” before bathing, shaving, picking up donations to the food ministry for which I volunteer and dropping off a few more boxes filled with items I had sold on eBay at the post office. I also took a short stroll around the dog park, assessing the “foxtail” situation after having received an e-mail from a member who I have decided just enjoys being a squeaky wheel. Too bad you can’t just spray WD-40 on annoying people. Or can you?

Sadly, the answer to that question is “no” so after I ate some breakfast – leftover grilled corn and roasted garlic soup with meatballs – I spent some time at the dog park, raking “foxtails” in the sun until I felt woozy from dehydration. Don’t worry, if I had passed out I am almost sure that the squeaky wheel wouldn’t have let her dog defecate on my face. She may have even kicked me off to the side so that I didn’t get trampled on. Maybe. Anyway, I grabbed a bottle of water back at home and chugged it before driving to the home of family friends and neighbors Bonnie and Gary to help them move some furniture in exchange for an oven roasted chicken sandwich from Subway, which I promptly consumed once back at home…

After lunch, I prepared three new eBay listings featuring “Anastasia” action figures while continuing to catch up on “Days of Our Lives.” A little later I heated up the nacho cheese I had gotten at Fuddruckers last week and dipped a couple of tortilla chips in it as an afternoon snack. At some point, someone informed me of a green moon occurring on Thursday, April 20 – a phenomenon that supposedly only happens every 420 years – but a quick fact-check later revealed this to be nothing more than marijuana propaganda. In other words, it’s a hoax, folks.

Nonetheless, looking at the same moon that someone else is looking at on the other side of the country can be a very special experience. It demonstrates that even though the miles may be many, two hearts can be feeling the exact same thing at the exact same time. As such, if the heart of someone we love is hurting, our heart hurts as well. That is why it is important to always keep our loved ones in our thoughts and prayers and, whenever possible, keep mementos of them nearby when they are far away so that we never forget who has our heart…

Joseph J. Airdo

Joseph J. Airdo is a film critic, producer and on-air personality for Breakthrough Entertainment, a talk radio show airing 10-11 a.m. Saturdays on KPHX 1480 AM and BreakRadioShow.com that shines a spotlight on the practical perspectives of the topics and themes explored in movies. He has a pet duck named Frozen who is as opinionated about movies as he is. E-mail him at joseph.airdo@gmail.com.

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