Tales from the Critic: Fishless Vichyssoise (Try to Say That 5 Times Fast)

I slept with a fan oscillating in my room last night. A constant clicking from the fan kind of kept me awake a lot of the night but it beat sweating for 8 hours straight. After getting out of bed and taking my weekly weigh-in (I lost 2 lbs. in spite of my fish fry-day), I worked out while watching “The Amazing Race” and then headed out to pick up the donations to the food ministry for which I volunteer before dropping them off with food ministry organizer Karen. While there, I could not resist yet another photo op with Judah the horse…


I caught up with Karen while snapping several selfies with Judah but as soon as the camera starting clicking I had an entire farm full of other friends who apparently have some sort of attraction to the paparazzi since they all came running, begging for their chance to appear on “Tales from the Critic…”


Animals are such attention hogs, aren’t they? Anyway, after counting sheep (literally – not figuratively), I returned home briefly to eat breakfast before heading back out to yank a few hundred brittlebush out of the ground at the dog park – a tiring task that left me covered with bits of dry weeds and a couple gallons of dirty sweat dripping down my forehead into my eyes…


After I stumbled (blindly) out of the dog park, I returned home again to watch “The Chew.” Did you know that vichyssoise does not have fish in it? I never knew. But apparently it is a chilled soup made with potatoes, leeks and cream – and, in the case of the recipe featured on “The Chew,” asparagus. Anyway, I do not care for chilled soups so I will not be making that one. But I have continued to stretch the mock Skyline Chili I made last week, enjoying it today on a plate of corn-quinoa garden pagoda pasta for lunch…


After having my fill, I laid down for a few minutes as I did not feel very well. I believe that I overexerted myself in the not-even-scorching-yet Arizona heat at the dog park. I could not catch my breath and my muscles felt like mush. I then watched “Days of Our Lives” (boy that Brady and Nicole had some steamy scenes that got the blood pumping) while posting more items for sale on eBay.

I also reached out to the publicist for a movie called “How to Be a Latin Lover” (opening this Friday) to inquire about screener and interview talent availability as well as blasted out a mass e-mail requesting a real-life Latin lover to possibly share tips with our listeners (and me – I need all the help I can get when it comes to wooing women) on this Saturday’s Breakthrough Entertainment. I then decided to break out the new Mike and Ike Sundae Sweets I had gotten last weekend at Dollar Tree…


A while later I wound down my day while watching some TV, including the season finale of “2 Broke Girls,” before finally lying down to count sheep – figuratively this time…

Joseph J. Airdo

Joseph J. Airdo is a film critic, producer and on-air personality for Breakthrough Entertainment, a talk radio show airing 10-11 a.m. Saturdays on KPHX 1480 AM and BreakRadioShow.com that shines a spotlight on the practical perspectives of the topics and themes explored in movies. He has a pet duck named Frozen who is as opinionated about movies as he is. E-mail him at joseph.airdo@gmail.com.

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