The past two days I have mentioned wanting to visit the Kuching Cat Museum in Malaysia and the Caturday Cat Cafe in Thailand. But did you know that there is also a similar destination right here in the United States? While I have every intention in the world to visit the Kuching Cat Museum and Caturday Cat Cafe one day, it is nice to know that Alliance, Ohio is home to The Cat Fanciers’ Association Foundation and Feline Historical Museum. There, you will find a variety of cat-related art, including paintings, porcelain and jewelry, as well as a small library of about 700 cat-related books and the “Cat House” originally designed by former Phoenix resident Frank Lloyd Wright for the Gerald B. Tonkens Family of Cincinnati. Occasionally, the museum even hosts events featuring real, live cats who have their run of the place and get to be held, hugged and played with by visitors. And who doesn’t love to hold, hug and play with a cat?
I am not ashamed to say that I hold and hug my cat You’re Next all night long. She was especially loving last night, licking my hand and closely cuddling up next to my body. It is somewhat of a miracle that our pets can always sense when we are not feeling well – physically, mentally or emotionally. Unfortunately, she must have not been feeling well either and I woke up next to some… let’s call it “number two.” My pet duck Frozen has occasionally been the cause of such surprises – including an especially humorous time when he removed his diaper and flung his feces all over the place before I finally realized the mess he had made – but I cannot recall when You’re Next has been the bearer of bad news like that.
And bad news it most certainly was as my cat must have been sending me a message about the quality of the day I had ahead of me. I worked out while watching “The Amazing Race” (the moral of the episode was you really get to know someone when the going gets tough, springboarding my day-long thought process about the relationships in my life and how certain people react in stressful situations). And that went rather well. But it was all downhill from there. I drove to a local restaurant to pick up their daily donations to the food ministry for which I volunteer and was told, quite roughly, by one employee that my “coming everyday to pick up donations is getting to be too much.” I was instructed to come less often. I guess people in need only deserve to eat every once in a while rather than every day.
I then walked across the parking lot to Fry’s Marketplace. I filled up a few water bottles with the machine outside before going in to do some shopping. My first stop, of course, was up front near the registers where a large display featuring this week’s freebie was on exhibition. Every Friday at Fry’s/Kroger, club card holders have the opportunity to register for a free item online and this week’s item is a bag of Sour Patch Kids candy…
Of course I registered for one on my account as well as on the accounts of the people I love. I then meandered down the frozen food aisle and literally broke out into tears when I saw something I had been searching for since I first heard about it a few months ago – Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream…
I had already enjoyed a bucket of Hostess Sno Balls Ice Cream, which was absolutely heavenly, and I did not have much interest in the Hostess Cup Cakes Ice Cream but it was the first time I had seen the golden goodness that is Hostess Twinkies in ice cream form and I did not know whether I should jump for joy or break down in tears. I also picked up a bottle of R.W. Knudsen Organic Tomato Sriracha Juice in the discount section because you know how much I love all things tomatoes…
After checking out, I walked back out into the parking lot and began to load my groceries and water bottles into my car. As I lifted one of the water bottles, my car door lightly bumped against the rubber on the side of the SUV next to me. Suddenly, a man twice my size wearing what appeared to be a vendor’s uniform, emerged from the other side of the vehicle and towered over me, shouting, “I guess you didn’t notice how you slammed your shit into my car!” I glanced at the point of collision and did not see even the slightest evidence of damage but expressed my sincerest apologies. He took a step toward me, appearing as though he was going to punch me. My mouth said, “I am so sorry! What can I do? I’m sorry!” But my heart and mind whimpered, “Just get it over with. Destroy me. Pull out a gun and end my misery if you must.” He then hopped back into his vehicle and sped away in a hurry while I remained in a state of extreme shock.
I then drove (with shakey hands) to Karen’s to drop off the donations and decompress the stress I had just endured. I enjoyed a cup of coffee and vented my frustrations. I also had time to silently organize my thoughts and feelings. One question (related to that “Amazing Race” moral I mentioned) that came to mind is can a broken heart be put back together by the breaker, someone who is able to carry on dancing with grace and jumping on backs with a smile on their face while one suffers, or must it be someone else supposedly willing to spend a thousand years on the potentially hopeless endeavor? I imagine that if two people were really meant to be with one another, it would be impossible for one of them to appear so happy while the other one of them is in so much obvious pain. I think there may have been a “Spongebob Squareface” episode about that.
Speaking of TV shows, have you seen the new Netflix series “13 Reasons Why?” It follows a teenager’s quest to uncover the story behind his classmate/crush’s decision to end her life. I have heard an awful lot of good buzz about it and had thought about watching it with someone special. I just hope that everyone has not already watched it without me by the time I can enjoy it. After all, I have a few things to get to today – namely new movie releases “The Fate of the Furious” and “Sandy Wexler” – so that I am able to review them during tomorrow’s Breakthrough Entertainment. More on that a bit later. But first, before leaving Karen’s, I encountered a very friendly horse, who apparently has some very unhealthy boundaries…
Once back at home, I enjoyed a late breakfast – half of one of my Fuddruckers burgers – piled high with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles and ranch dressing – that I had gotten the day before…
Most of the remainder of my day consisted of screening those aforementioned new movie releases. You can hear my reviews of them during Breakthrough Entertainment’s Easter Special, airing 10-11 a.m. PST Saturday, April 15 on KPHX 1480 AM and on 1480KPHX.com. You will want to tune in to our live in-studio webcam feed on Stream.Live/BreakRadioShow for the full effect as we will be decorating Easter Eggs and things are bound to get a bit colorful. I prepared for the project by hard-boiling a few eggs, with a little help from an Egg-Per’fect Color Changing Egg Timer…
Oh and one last thing before I go to bed (and hope that You’re Next’s stomach issues have subsided). Don’t you ever say I don’t go the extra mile for this column. I would do absolutely anything to put a smile on your face – even get a bit too close for comfort with something that could decapitate me with a single bite…
At least I didn’t jump on his back with a smile spread across my face that essentially says, “You don’t matter to me anymore.” But I guess one person’s week of Hell is another person’s week of Heaven.
