The Three Most Important Rules in a Relationship
There are many ways to keep the romance going in a relationship. At the bottom of all of them is commitment and intimacy. If you can maintain a strong sense of connection and dedication to the relationship, all else will logically fall into place. It is with this in mind that I offer these three ideas that I have personally found critical to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Rule number one is making your relationship the most important thing in your life. That goes for both of you. If only one of you feels this way, it’s like trying to run a marathon on one leg. Both of you will be exhausted and it will go nowhere. You will also be violating rule number two.
Think, act and believe that that other person is your other half. They are, and you know it. That other person is intrinsically involved in you physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. Make this part clearly visible and audible to your partner.
I’m not talking codependence, you are still two distinct beings with distinct needs, but that other person needs to be a priority on all levels. Besides, just the paperwork involved in a breakup is a pain in the butt so you might as well go for it whole hog.
Rule number two is to make honesty the only policy on all matters. That means no more mind games, no more walls. Every lie that you tell to your mate is another brick in that wall and they are very hard (and painful) to take to take down once they are put up. It’s much easier to just say what you feel and speak the brutal (or beautiful) truth on everything.
This is not to say that you must blurt out everything about everything, everyone has a part of them that is their own, but if asked, tell the truth. Life is so much easier and less complicated if you are transparent.
Rule number three is to become as vulnerable to your partner as you are to yourself. There is nothing that will drive intimacy home more effectively that to become completely open to your mate. There is nothing that will stop an argument faster that to expose your fears about the very thing you are arguing about. That is, to become completely vulnerable when in the middle of a disagreement. Try it and you will see what I mean. A word of warning here; if someone goes for your jugular when you do this (or if you do this), then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. Anyone who would do this, does not have your (and the relationships) best interests in mind.
Take note that I didn’t say go out and buy expensive gifts or lavish treatments for that special person. Anything like that is transient and short lived. What is important in life can’t be bought. The important things in life come from the heart not the pocketbook.
There are many more tips that I have to keep a relationship thriving, but these are the most important ones. I firmly believe that love and intimacy are the true paths to happiness.