Of the nine new movies that I reviewed during the March 28, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” only two are truly worth your time. If you do not mind the drive to Tucson, “Detour” – a movie about a man trapped inside his car by a mudslide – will leave you with plenty to think about on your way back home. However, if the price at the pump has you hesitant to hoof it out east, there are more than enough thrills to sustain you in “Olympus Has Fallen” – an actioner in which the White House is taken by terrorists.
‘Admission’
Tina Fey plays a Princeton admissions officer who, up for a promotion, takes a professional risk when an alternative school teacher (Paul Rudd) introduces her to a college-bound kid who just might be the son she gave up years ago in a secret adoption. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
If anyone asks you to see “Admission” with them, swiftly reject their offer. If they then see the new comedy without you and say that it was anything other than a complete waste of their time, immediately deny having ever known them. Tina Fey is utterly unfunny as a character who is socially impaired and ultimately unlikeable while Paul Rudd appears as though he is starring in another movie altogether – a movie that may have actually been worth watching. A scene in which the wannabe freshmen’s fates are decided is kind of compelling but the rest should be renounced. (Grade: D)
‘Detour’
Neil Hopkins plays a man who, trapped inside his car by a mudslide with no hope of rescue, must defy the odds – battling Mother Nature for his survival. Playing exclusively at Grand Cinemas Crossroads 6. (NR – 87 minutes)
Single-setting thrillers (think elevators ala “Devil” and ski chairlifts ala “Frozen”) are a tough nut to crack. They are even tougher when a single actor is responsible for carrying the entire movie on his shoulders alone (think Ryan Reynolds in “Buried” and James Franco in “127 Hours”). However, writer/director William Dickerson and star Neil Hopkins have done exactly that with “Detour” – and on an indie filmmaker’s production budget no less. The film features all of the claustrophobia, desperation and pure panic that you could possibly want in a motion picture, taking you on an emotional and psychological roller-coaster ride without ever leaving the confines of a car. (Grade: B)
‘The Croods’
Nicolas Cage plays a prehistoric patriarch whose family must embark on a search of a new home when their cave is destroyed. An imaginative nomad (Ryan Reynolds) helps them conquer their fear of the outside world and discover that all they need to survive is each other. (PG – 98 minutes)
Like most recent animated flicks, “The Croods” excels in its visuals – transporting viewers to a colorful and imaginative world – but it can never quite match that creativity when it comes to its story. That is to say that Dreamworks Pictures’ latest effort is sufficient but far from special, failing to flaunt the humongous heart that Pixar appears to have trademarked given the distinct lack thereof in most movies produced by other studios. The result is an action-packed adventure that will charm children but leave adults relatively underwhelmed until the last act at which point the motion picture finally shows creative promise. (Grade: C)
‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’
The G.I. Joes are forced to contend with not only their mortal enemy Cobra but also threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis star. (PG-13 – 110 minutes)
Though seemingly impossible, “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” is even worse than 2009’s “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.” Not only does it pool all of its resources into nonstop action thereby robbing viewers of a compelling plot but it also lacks any specificity whatsoever. There is absolutely nothing that makes this movie unique and, as a result, its impression is about as long-lasting as a stick of dollar-store chewing gum. Accompanied by a bait-and-switch in which actors Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis’s screentime consists of less than 10 minutes apiece despite appearing on the motion picture’s poster and you have got a bomb of nuclear proportions. (Grade: F)
‘Mental’
Toni Collette plays a charismatic, crazy hothead who transforms a family’s life when she becomes the nanny of five girls whose mother has cracked from her husband’s political ambitions and infidelity. Playing exclusively at Harkins Shea 14. (NR – 116 minutes)
“Mental” begins with plenty of promise, opening with a woman singing and dancing next to a clothesline in a shabby Australian backyard as though she is Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music.” Unfortunately, save for a sprinkle of such eccentric ingenuity here and there throughout its nearly 2-hour runtime, writer/director P.J. Hogan’s new dramedy never again matches said sequence’s creative flair. Moreover, the movie – which, among other things, tackles the topic of mental illness – ironically suffers from a bipolar disorder in which it asks us to laugh one moment and cry the next with nary enough time in between each tonal u-turn. (Grade: D)
‘Olympus Has Fallen’
Gerard Butler plays a disgraced former presidential guard who, when the White House is captured by a terrorist mastermind (Rick Yune) and the President (Aaron Eckhart) is kidnapped, helps retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. (R – 118 minutes)
“Olympus Has Fallen” is explosively exciting, exceptionally suspenseful and has everything that one could possibly want in an entire season of “24” condensed into two intense hours. It is hard to believe that director Antoine Fuqua’s new action-thriller was not initially conceived as an mission for Jack Bauer because it seems tailor-made for him. However, Gerard Butler’s Mike Banning is a spectacular stand-in, single-handedly saving the day in such a way that ensures viewers a really riveting time from the moment the White House comes under crowd attack to the last-ditch effort to protect the president’s life and simultaneously stop America’s apocalypse. (Grade: B)
‘On the Road’
Sam Riley and Garrett Headlund play an aspiring writer and an ex-con who, determined not to get locked into a constricted life, cut their ties and take to the road in search of the world, of other encounters and of themselves. Kristen Stewart also stars. Playing exclusively at Harkins Shea 14. (R – 124 minutes)
Regardless of the company that they might afford you, some road trips should just never be taken. “On the Road” is an one of them. Director Walter Salles’ cinematic adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s novel of the same title is a tedious, overlong and meandering motion picture – which is a shame considering its cast includes the likes of Kristen Stewart, Amy Adams and Viggo Mortensen. Sure, the scenery is sometimes spectacular but you are almost guaranteed to get lost along the way – be it out of sheer boredom or simply out of the strenuously spontaneous nature of the narrative. (Grade: F)
‘Spring Breakers’
Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Rachel Korine and Selena Gomez play best friends whose serendipitous encounter with a rapper (James Franco) promises to provide them with all the thrill and excitement they could hope for and a spring break they will never forget. Playing exclusively at Harkins Tempe Marketplace. (R – 92 minutes)
If writer/director Harmony Korine’s intention with his new crime drama “Spring Breakers” was to make viewers feel as though they have been drugged and are experiencing 90 minutes of extremely unpleasant intoxication, he hit that nail square on its head. The movie is artistically incompetent, substituting a structured narrative with something that looks more like a cross between a commercial and a music video. Worst of all, though, Korrine’s project is a direct insult toward young women – exploiting their bodies to pornographic effect and suggesting that the vast majority of them are soulless, money-hungry nymphomaniacs who are completely incapable of self-respecting behavior. (Grade: F)
‘Wrong’
Jack Plotnick plays a man who, desperate to reunite with his lost dog, embarks on an absurd journey that includes an encounter with an enigmatic pony-tailed guru (William Fichtner) who teaches him how to metaphysically reconnect with his pet. Playing exclusively at Harkins Valley Art. (NR – 94 minutes)
There is one question that will plague your thoughts each and every solitary second while watching “Wrong.” That question is: “Why?” To say that the new comedy from writer/director Quentin Dupieux does not make any sense whatsoever is an unabashed understatement. It is certain to be the most mentally incompetent motion picture that you see all year. However, that pinnacle level of preposterousness is precisely what makes the movie so astonishingly amusing. Having said that, Dupieux does have trouble keeping such a thin story interesting throughout despite a relatively brief runtime – especially compared to his wacky work of genius “Rubber.” (Grade: C)
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Of the seven new movies that I reviewed during the March 21, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” the two that you should seek out above all others are “The Girl” – a drama that tackles the topic of illegal immigration – and “Stoker” – a drama that is as perverse as it is poetic.
‘The Call’
Halle Berry plays a veteran 911 operator who, upon taking a life-altering call from a teenage girl (Abigail Breslin) who has just been abducted, realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl’s life. (R – 94 minutes)
It is no coincidence that “The Call” falls apart precisely at the point that the phone’s connection is lost. After spending an hour building some of the most spectacular suspense that we have seen this year, screenwriter Richard D’Ovidio – seemingly having written himself into a corner – simply gives up and starts dialing random numbers in search of a competent conclusion. Instead, all he finds is sheer stupidity as the story essentially hangs up on any sensibility whatsoever. Granted, it is silly from the start but nothing will prepare you for the farce of a finale. (Grade: C)
‘Dorfman in Love’
Sara Rue plays a single suburbanite who volunteers to cat sit at her unrequited love’s downtown L.A loft and meets another man who appreciates her thereby prompting her to transforms not only the mess of a loft but also the mess of herself. Playing exclusively at Harkins Shea 14. (PG-13 – 92 minutes)
It is a shame that “Dorfman in Love” is not a better movie. After all, the new romantic comedy propagates a very admirable message about being one’s self and stars actress Sara Rue who really does deserve more recognition for her talent. However, despite those two strengths, the flick fails to take its own advice and instead desperately tries to be what Hollywood wants it to be rather than constructing an identity unique to itself. This cookie-cutter effort features less characters than it does caricatures who navigate the formulaic plot with predictability right up until its ham-fisted finale. (Grade: D)
‘The End of Love’
Mark Webber plays a struggling actor who kindles a relationship with a single mother (Shannyn Sossamon) and begins to realize that he can no longer remain in denial about the real-life consequences his choices have on his own son. Playing exclusively at Harkins Valley Art. (NR – 90 minutes)
“The End of Love” may be one of the most incredibly intimate motion pictures you will ever witness, exhibiting – with unparalleled honesty – the deeply emotional bond between a parent and their child. That honesty is due in part to actor Mark Webber co-starring with his own real-life son but also because he, in writing and directing the new drama, used his own challenging childhood experiences as inspiration. Having said that, the project is sometimes even so intimate that it feels more like a home movie than a feature film and has all of the format’s momentum and resolution – or lack thereof. (Grade: C)
‘The Girl’
Abbie Cornish plays a single mother who, struggling with the loss of her child to Social Services, crosses paths with that of a young girl from Mexico and begins a journey that will change her life – discovering that she is the architect of her own fate and learning what it is that truly defines home. Playing exclusively at Harkins Arizona Center 24. (PG-13 – 95 minutes)
“The Girl” is a timely and touching tale of transformation through tragedy. Writer/director David Riker’s new drama, which is in the same vein as 2007’s “Under the Same Moon” and 2011’s “A Better Life,” tackles the topic of illegal immigration in a way that encourages viewers to consider the outlook of those on the other side of the fence yet never truly takes sides and instead challenges said viewers to come to their own complex conclusions. And while Riker circumvents some inconvenient details along the way and ends on a somewhat contradictory note, star Abbie Cornish’s penetrating performance is worth the price of admission in and of itself. (Grade: B)
‘The Incredible Burt Wonderstone’
Steve Carell plays a magician who splits from his longtime stage partner (Steve Buscemi) after a guerrilla street magician (Jim Carrey) steals their thunder. By spending some time with his boyhood idol (Alan Arkin), he looks to remember what made him love magic in the first place. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
“The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” is definitely fun but it is far from magical. The movie’s strengths lie squarely with its likeable cast members – namely Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi and Jim Carrey, any one of whom would be more than enough to entertain an audience. Therefore, seeing all three in the same place is trick worth watching in and of itself. However, the material – though it starts strong and finishes fabulously – meanders in the middle and does not provide the motion picture’s three shining stars the right resources to transform this amusing magic wand into a boisterous bouquet of flowers. (Grade: C)
‘Stoker’
Mia Wasikowska plays a friendless young woman who becomes increasingly infatuated with her uncle (Matthew Goode) who, having moved in with her and her emotionally unstable mother (Nicole Kidman), may have ulterior motives. Playing exclusively at Harkins Camelview 5. (R – 98 minutes)
“Stoker” is a poetically perverse motion picture. The new drama, which was directed by Chan-wook Park and written by Wentworth Miller – yes, the same Wentworth Miller who starred in FOX’s groundbreaking television series “Prison Break” – breaks down the barriers of abnormality but it does so with literary refinement. In other words, it uses allegories and symbols to tell its story of savagery and strangeness. Having said that, the flick does take a tad too long to get to its explanatory backstory. But when it does, the floodgates are opened so wide that the viewer nearly drowns in its depravity. (Grade: B)
‘A Resurrection’
Mischa Barton plays a high school counselor who tries to help a mentally ill student (J. Michael Trautmann) who believes that his brother is returning from the grave for revenge on the students who killed him. Devon Sawa and Michael Clarke Duncan also star. Playing exclusively at AMC Westgate 20. (NR – 90 minutes)
“A Resurrection” is worth a watch if only because it is late actor Michael Clarke Duncan’s second-to-last motion picture. Granted, his role in writer/director Matt Orlando’s new thriller is relatively small and the project as a whole is less than a blip on the remarkable roadmap that is his career, but it still reminds us of what a genuinely talented legend we lost last year. The movie itself is nothing special – void of any genuine scares much less logic. However, it at least operates with an original idea rather than resurrecting the same old story. (Grade: D)
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Of the three new movies that I reviewed during the March 14, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” the only one worth seeing is “K-11” – a women-in-prison exploitation flick with a twist. The other two – horror anthology “The ABCs of Death” and historical drama “Emperor” – are barely even worth the words printed on this page.
‘The ABCs of Death’
This anthology film is comprised of 26 individual chapters, each helmed by a different director assigned a letter of the alphabet and given free reign in choosing a word to create a story involving death. Playing exclusively at the FilmBar. (NR – 129 minutes)
You know that your anthology film is a failure when its best chapter was helmed by an amateur filmmaker whose short was selected by popular vote in an online competition. “T is for Toilet” is one of only two shorts featured in “The ABCs of Death” that are even remotely worth watching (the other one being “D is for Dogfight”). The other 24 of them range from pointlessly disgusting to simply pointless and nothing more – absent of any of the guilty pleasure that you typically get from watching such scenes in an ordinary horror flick with an actual plot. (Grade: F)
‘Emperor’
Matthew Fox plays a general who, as the Japanese surrender at the end of WWII, is tasked with deciding if Emperor Hirohito will be hanged as a war criminal. Tommy Lee Jones also stars. (PG-13 – 98 minutes)
At one point during the new post-WWII drama “Emperor,” Tommy Lee Jones retorts, “I don’t need a history lesson.” My thoughts exactly – especially one as devastatingly dull as director Peter Weber’s new motion picture. There are mere glimpses of a remotely fascinating film found here and there – namely the scenes shared by Matthew Fox and Eriko Hatsune, who plays his character’s love interest – but said scenes are fighting a losing battle with a story so scant on style and padded with pokerfaced performances that you will be willing to fall on your own sword to escape it. (Grade: F)
‘K-11’
Goran Visnjic plays a record producer who comes around after binging on drink and drugs and finds himself in a section of the Los Angeles County Jail reserved for homosexuals, which is ruled by a transsexual named Mousey (Kate del Castillo). Playing exclusively at Harkins Valley Art. (NR – 100 minutes)
“K-11” is trashy, disconcerting and unscrupulous – the three key ingredients of the women-in-prison exploitation genre that was popularized back in the 1970’s. In fact, writer/director Jules Stewart – mother of “The Twilight Saga’s” Kristen Stewart – adds a unique spin to the format, using characters that are actually gay, transsexual and transgender men, thereby augmenting the already alarming aspects of it all. Having said that, Stewart sometimes slips off either side of the thin line that separates seriousness from camp and some story elements in the movie are a bit muddled but this is certainly a piece of scandalous cinema. (Grade: B)
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Of the four new movies that I reviewed during the March 7, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” your best bet to have a blast is “Jack the Giant Slayer” – a live-action re-telling of the classic English folktale “Jack and the Beanstalk.” However, so long as you steer clear of “The Last Exorcism: Part 2,” you are sure to leave the theater without feeling as angry as a possessed person.
‘21 & Over’
Justin Chon plays a straight-A college student whose best friends (Skylar Astin and Miles Teller) surprise him with a visit for his 21st birthday. What was supposed to be one beer becomes a night of humiliation, overindulgence and utter debauchery. (R – 93 minutes)
“21 & Over,” a new comedy written and directed by “The Hangover” screenwriters Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, is exactly what one would expect it to be – “The Hangover” for the college crowd. And although it is true that seeing three middle-aged men make the most massive mistakes of their lives is much more amusing than seeing three 21-year-olds make complete donkeys of themselves (as they so often do), Lucas and Moore have conceived some situations that are simply so absurd that you cannot help but let loose and have a fun time. It really should come with one of those “do not try this at home” warnings,” though. (Grade: C)
‘Jack the Giant Slayer’
Nicholas Hoult plays a young farmhand who unwittingly opens a gateway between our world and a fearsome race of giants. Fighting for a kingdom, its people and the love of a brave princess, the farmhand comes face to face with the unstoppable warriors he thought only existed in legend. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
“Jack the Giant Slayer” has enormous excitement, a humongous heart and abundant adventure. Director Bryan Singer’s new live-action re-telling of “Jack and the Beanstalk” succeeds in its efforts to entertain audiences of all ages by simply not straying too far from the classic English folktale’s basic premise and merely modifying the minutia to increase credibility and creativity. Unfortunately, the screenwriters do tack on an extra ending in which the proverbial beanstalk sap hits the fan and the giants kick it into “Transformers” madness mode, but most of the movie stays true to the fairy tale’s fundamental function – inciting and inspiriting our imaginations. (Grade: B)
‘The Last Exorcism: Part II’
Ashley Bell plays a woman who is found terrified and alone in rural Louisiana. Just as she begins the difficult process of starting a new life, the evil force that once possessed her is back with other, unimaginably horrific plans that mean her last exorcism was just the beginning. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
In 2011, I not only named writer/director Ed Gass-Donnelly’s incredibly unsettling drama “Small Town Murder Songs” one of the year’s best movies but also called him one of the top filmmakers to watch. Unfortunately, his follow-up film – “The Last Exorcism: Part II” – makes me look ludicrous and makes him seem like a sell-out. The new horror sequel starts strong with a suggestion that the evil that may haunt one’s mind is far more frightening than the evil that may inhabit one’s body. But, before long, it becomes just a humdrum, run-of-the-mill movie about demonic possessions and exorcisms. (Grade: D)
‘A Place at the Table’
Filmmakers Kristi Jacobson and Lori Silverbush investigate incidents of hunger experienced by millions of Americans as well as proposed solutions to the problem. (PG – 84 minutes)
“A Place at the Table” is certain to turn the stomachs of its viewers, who are bound to become enraged over the injustice faced by millions of Americans who either do not have enough to eat or are unable to afford the type of food that leads to a long and healthy life. Filmmakers Kristi Jacobson and Lori Silverbush’s new documentary succeeds in setting a fire under the seats of its viewers by both tugging at their heartstrings with tales of tragedy and engaging their brains with food for thought. The film’s fascination factor falls in the second half but its subject is still too significant to slight. (Grade: C)
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Of the four new movies that I reviewed during the Feb. 28, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” the one that you should… make that need to see is “Snitch,” a thriller starring Dwayne Johnson. As for “The Frankenstein Theory,” the new found-footage flick has plenty of potential but it is in desperate need of a little lightening to liven things up.
‘Dark Skies’
Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton play a couple that witnesses an escalating series of disturbing events involving their family, causing their safe and peaceful home to quickly unravel. When it becomes clear that the family is being targeted, they take matters in their own hands to solve the mystery. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
If you have seen “Signs,” then you have actually already seen “Dark Skies,” too. In fact, if you have seen “Sinister,” “Insidious” or any number of movies in which a family is terrorized by a paranormal presence and seeks out an eccentric expert’s professional opinion, then you have also already seen writer/director Scott Stewart’s new science-fiction thriller. Just alternate ghosts for aliens and you have more or less the same movie. However, although the motion picture probes other properties for plot points, it is still sufficiently spooky, effectively eerie and a potent producer of utterly unnerving nightmares. (Grade: B)
‘The Frankenstein Theory’
Timothy V. Murphy plays a disgraced college professor who leads a documentary film crew to the rim of the Arctic Circle in a desperate effort to vindicate his academic reputation and prove that Mary Shelley’s literary classic “Frankenstein” is, in fact, a work of non-fiction disguised as fantasy. Playing exclusively at AMC Arizona Center 24. (NR – 87 minutes)
“The Frankenstein Theory” spends too much time on the “theory” and not enough time on the “Frankenstein.” That is to say that writer/director Andrew Weiner’s new found-footage flick, which was produced by “The Last Exorcism” creators Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland, has a magnificently monstrous finale but the boring build-up is so bulky that viewers very well mayl lose interest long before arriving at that aforementioned action-packed part. Having said that, Weiner’s project earns points for exploring a relatively original idea rather than re-visiting the same old supernatural song and dance. Plentiful potential and excellent execution are two very different things, though. (Grade: D)
‘The Lost Medallion’
Billy Unger and Sammi Hanratty play two teenage friends who uncover a long-lost medallion and accidentally wish themselves back in time. The experience gives them a new understanding of who they are and what their lives really mean. (PG – 100 minutes)
“The Lost Medallion” is a faith-based family flick that, unlike most movies of its genre, conceals its religious roots remarkably well. In fact, writer/director Bill Muir conceals them perhaps even too well as one would have to make a lot of large leaps from the motion picture’s plot points in order to arrive at the same character-building conclusions that the kids in the film do. Having said that, the movie’s messages are still very valuable. Moreover, they are seamlessly instilled into young viewers thanks to the abundantly absorbing adventure on which it takes audiences of all ages. (Grade: C)
‘Snitch’
Dwayne Johnson plays a father whose teenage son is wrongly accused of a drug distribution crime and is looking at a mandatory minimum prison sentence of 10 years. Desperate and determined to rescue his son at all costs, he makes a deal with the U.S. attorney to work as an undercover informant and infiltrate a drug cartel on a dangerous mission. (PG-13 – 112 minutes)
“Snitch” is successful in its efforts to both provoke the thoughts of its viewers and get them so riled up that they are almost guaranteed to dig their fingernails deep into their armrests for the entire duration of the new dramatic thriller. And holding on tight may be the best tactic, too, as writer/director Ric Roman Waugh exhilarates audiences not with action but with cleverly calculated suspense. Warning: You will not emerge with your nerves unfrayed from this tension, your spirit unbroken by this social injustice or your heart unaffected by this father’s defiant dedication to his son. (Grade: A)
How do you feel when you buy something only to find out when you get it home that it wasn’t at all what was advertised? I am still amazed at what those food items (Big Macs©, Whoppers© and Foot Longs©) look like in the ads and when you open up the wrapper they are just a shadow of what they said you were getting. The harm is brief, because in 15 minutes it will be gone, you will be full, and it actually did hit the spot.
We all know that lying on a resume for a job is playing with fire. To represent yourself as something you’re not is dishonest at best and if you are found out it will probably, no certainly, get you fired. It’s just not a good idea to misrepresent yourself like that because, in the end, it will come back and bite you.
So why do people go into relationships with a mask on? It is so important in a relationship to be authentic, speak honestly and not put up a false front if it is your intention to be serious about someone. Sure you may impress them for a while, but in the end when they realize the truth, then what? You look bad, they feel like a fool and there are bad feelings all around.
It’s much better to present an accurate picture of yourself and attract the kind of person that will be the right match for you. You will save the time of having to go from person to person, heartache to heartache, hoping that they are a match for you.
If you are already in a relationship, say what you mean honestly. Don’t hold back your feelings, needs and desires. That way your mate will not have to guess what you are thinking, how you feel about things and what to expect from you. Of course, if that special someone is a perfect mind reader then you can disregard this advice.
The other part of this proposition is to encourage the same from them. When they tell you about those deep feelings that they haven’t told another soul, accept it wholeheartedly. They are revealing an intimate part of themselves and to reject it or belittle it will be soul crushing to them. It could end the relationship, so take a breath and pick your words carefully.
If you can’t find the words, a hug will say everything. There is something about being vulnerable to someone close that increases intimacy every time.
In order to find maintain and increase the quality of a good relationship, authenticity and honesty is and always will be the best policy. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
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Of the three new movies that I reviewed during the Feb. 21, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” I could not in good conscience pick even one as being worth watching. The worst of the three is “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III” – a dramedy starring Charlie Sheen – but the alien-themed animated adventure “Escape from Planet Earth” is an extremely close second runner-up.
‘Escape from Planet Earth’
Brendan Fraser voices a beefcake space hero who defends his planet against a nefarious villain (James Gandolfini). Additional voice talents include Jessica Alba, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Sarah Jessica Parker. (PG – 95 minutes)
History has proven that alien-themed animated adventures are almost always failures of out-of-this-world proportions. Be it played for laughs like “Planet 51” or “Space Chimps” or drama akin to “Battle for Terra” or “Delgo,” such movies simply seem destined to implode. Yet, the Weinstein Company chose to ignore the obvious and make “Escape from Planet Earth” anyway. The result is a generic-yet-energetic family flick whose best bits are snippets of social commentary that are momentarily muttered under characters’ breath, barely even audible over the screams of insignificant stupidity that make up most of this monotonously messy motion picture. (Grade: D)
‘A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III’
Charlie Sheen plays a graphic designer whose enviable life slides into despair when his girlfriend breaks up with him. Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray and Patricia Arquette also star. Playing exclusively at Harkins Shea 14. (R – 86 minutes)
I imagine that watching “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III” is exactly like actually experiencing a glimpse inside the mind of anybody on the face of this planet – random, fleeting and surreal. Granted, Mr. Swan’s noggin is home to things that are arguably much more bizarre – not to mention perverse – than those found in most other people’s brains, but the stream-of-consciousness-like method with which writer/director Roman Coppola explores said contents does not lend itself to any coherence, purpose or insight whatsoever. The film’s only saving grace is its star Charlie Sheen, who – for better or for worse – was seemingly born to play this particular character. (Grade: D)
‘The Playroom’
Olivia Harris plays one of four siblings in 1970s suburbia who spend the night telling each other stories in the attic while their parents (John Hawkes and Molly Parker) entertain guests downstairs over the course of a gin-soaked evening during which truths are unearthed and betrayals come to light. Playing exclusively at FilmBar. (NR – 83 minutes)
If “The Playroom” would have been a little less interested in imitating 1997’s “The Ice Storm” and much more motivated by weaving its own unique tale of familial dysfunction set in 1970s suburbia, it may have actually been a provocative motion picture. Instead, the new drama must settle for being mildly intriguing. It is also ultimately unsatisfying as it handles the down and dirty details with melodramatic metaphors. However, some may still find it worth watching if only for the profound performances from stars John Hawkes and Molly Parker, the latter of whom played a similar character on CBS’s short-lived series “Swingtown.” (Grade: D)
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Of the five new movies that I reviewed during the Feb. 14, 2013 edition of “Breakthrough Thinking: The Magazine,” the only one that I can in good conscience recommend seeing is “Side Effects,” a dramatic thriller starring Jude Law and Rooney Mara. All of the others, including “A Good Day to Die Hard” – the fifth installment in the action film franchise about Detective John McClane – are not worth your time or money.
‘Beautiful Creatures’
Alden Ehrenreich plays a young man longing to escape his small town while Alice Englert plays a mysterious new girl. Together, they uncover dark secrets about their respective families, their history and their town. (PG-13 – 100 minutes)
“Beautiful Creatures” is yet another silly supernatural soap opera – this time spoken in awkward southern accents. The new romantic drama – which is based on the bestselling book of the same title by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl and brought to the big screen by writer/director Richard LaGravenese likely in an attempt to replicate the commercial success of “The Twilight Saga” – starts off innocently enough, telling a tale of teenage love with a paranormal twist, but eventually escalating into a massively melodramatic movie in which witches… sorry, casters, per their preference… shout at one another about familial affairs. (Grade: D)
‘A Good Day to Die Hard’
Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane who this time travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son (Jai Courtney) only to discover that said son is a CIA operative working to prevent a nuclear-weapons heist, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces. (R – 97 minutes)
“A Good Day to Die Hard” uses a steamroller to do the job of a rolling pin. In other words, director John Moore’s fifth entry in the film franchise about a NYPD detective named John McClane who is slowly but surely morphing into Superman suffers from action overload, causing the viewer’s eyes to glaze over as people, places and things are obliterated in an orchestra of fiery explosions. Even checking one’s brain at the door to the auditorium cannot save them from acknowledging, with disappointment, that this chaotic catastrophe is a far cry from the series’ suspenseful first installment released 25 years ago. (Grade: D)
‘Identity Thief’
Jason Bateman plays a mild-mannered businessman who learns that his identity has been stolen and hits the road in an attempt to foil the thief – a deceptively harmless-looking woman (Melissa McCarthy). (R – 111 minutes)
“Identity Thief” is ferociously funny but it is also fairly frustrating and the film frequently takes its jokes entirely too far. That is to say that director Seth Gordon’s new road trip comedy treats its two stars – Jason Bateman and the magnificent Melissa McCarthy – like cartoon characters, subjecting them to extreme physical duress in order to get a laugh yet, in doing so, overshooting said target. Fortunately, though, there are enough down-to-earth hits to outweigh the many manic misses and make the movie worth watching. Extra points are earned for quirky cameos from “Modern Family’s” Eric Stonestreet and McCarthy’s “Bridesmaids” co-star Ellie Kemper – both of whom deserve their own starring roles. (Grade: C)
‘Safe Haven’
Julianne Hough plays a young woman with a mysterious past who lands in Southport, North Carolina where her bond with a widower (Josh Duhamel) forces her to confront the dark secret that haunts her. (PG-13 – 115 minutes)
“Safe Haven” is footloose and fancy-free. That is a conveniently coincidental (considering its star Julianne Hough’s filmography includes 2011’s “Footloose”) way of saying that director Lasse Hallström’s new flick based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel of the same title is exceptionally light on conflict. In fact, if it were not for the manipulative mystery threaded throughout the first 90 minutes of the movie, even fans of the romantic drama genre would become bored before anything exciting actually happens. However, its worst offense is underestimating viewers’ intelligence with a twist that is obvious from the very start. Having said that, it will still please hopeless romantics. (Grade: D)
‘Side Effects’
Rooney Mara plays a woman whose world unravels when a new drug prescribed by her psychiatrist (Jude Law) – intended to treat anxiety – has unexpected side effects. Channing Tatum and Catherine Zeta-Jones also star. (R – 120 minutes)
“Side Effects” is a remarkably riveting dramatic thriller. It is also quite clever – so clever, in fact, that you may require some sort of prescription medication for the headache that you are guaranteed to develop as a result of trying to keep up with its incredibly complex plot. Needless to say, director Steven Soderbergh’s latest cinematic effort is about so much more than what at first meets the eye. Bolstered by brilliant performances from its acting quartet and a story that is certain to unceasingly surprise viewers from beginning to end, this tough pill to swallow is worth the extra effort. (Grade: B)
Today is Valentine’s Day. Some people embrace the opportunity to express their emotions to another and some people avoid it at all costs. This has always puzzled me because to live life behind ten foot walls is really no meaningful life at all. It seems some people can more easily express feelings for their car than for their spouse. Why is it so easy for some people to express feelings of fondness for an inanimate object and so difficult to convey those same (and deeper) feelings to another person? Fear perhaps.
It seems kind of odd and self-defeating to express love and affection to those special to you just once a year. If you plant a tree or start a garden, do you water it just once a year? How far could you drive your car if you filled it up just once a year? Feed your cat or dog once a year and you probably won’t have that pet for very long. Doesn’t it make sense that for a relationship to thrive and grow, it needs to be fed more than once a year?
Many of us have a hard time allowing someone to see the real person inside. Perhaps it’s the fear of vulnerability or the need to control or that you will seem weak somehow if you allow another person that close. In my opinion, this is the essence of intimacy, of real love. Allowing yourself to be revealed, warts and all, and yet you are still loved! To paraphrase Helen Hayes, “It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.”
Laurie and I don’t make a big deal of Valentine’s Day. That’s because we treat every day like Valentine’s Day, remembering to say “I love you” early and often … doing little things that we know the other one likes. Spending time together, sometimes just driving around and talking or just holding hands.
Your relationship with a significant other has an energy all its own. It needs the same care and feeding that your car or your cat needs. Daily, weekly, monthly…and with any luck, for decades to come.
The Columbus Blue Jackets have begun their cultural/identity change under team president of hockey operations John Davidson.
It began on Tuesday when the club announced the firing of general manager Scott Howson. On Wednesday it became official that the Blue Jackets had replaced Howson with former St. Louis Blues director of amateur scouting Jarmo Kekalainen, who becomes the first European general manager in NHL history.
Kekalainen was most recently the general manager of Jokerit in Finland’s top league, as he had signed a five-year deal in 2010, but as TSN’s Bob McKenzie reported, the deal included an NHL “out” clause.
This move is significant for the Blue Jackets as they look to turn the franchise into a perennial contender. It takes time, but adding Kekalainen to the mix will definitely help a lot in terms of player development and an eye on top prospects through the draft.
Alongside Davidson, theses two form an all-star combo in terms of hockey management. While the Blue Jackets may not be ready to make the jump to the playoffs quite yet, they will be a force within the next couple seasons.
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